His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
