"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
