There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
