i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
