if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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