take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
