We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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