I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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