So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
