she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
