I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
