Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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