My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
