guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
