They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
