Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
