She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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