That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We have started to decorate penises.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
