i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
