i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
