you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
