So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
