C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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