Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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