Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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