as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
