yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
