it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
