I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
