'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
