Tell her she can't have a vagina
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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