Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He better not be in your backpack
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
