So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
