i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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