Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
