Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Pooping to opera.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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