one might say we're banned from that church
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
