worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
