I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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