I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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