So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
