I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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