I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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