Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pants are for mortals
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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