There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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