You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
