dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
