He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
