R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
