I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
