Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
