at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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