What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
