Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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