i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
